How Successful People Brush Their Teeth

Are you successful? Did you ever become CEO of a Fortune 100 company that sold a billion smartphones on the North Korean market? Did you ever play bagpipe on the moon? Did you invent cheese?

I thought not. Did you ever ask yourself why? What is it that makes truly successful people different from you?

I am convinced it is that it is in the way they brush their teeth. It is a daily (or at least weekly) task where one can go wrong in so many ways.

The first challenge is the tooth paste. Where should it go? A survey of an unfathomable number of successful business executives showed that a majority of them applied the toothpaste on the bristles. You may have thought that the toothpaste should go in the little hole at the end, but no. That hole is there just to hang the toothbrush on a hook (purchased separately). 

The second question is how to hold the toothbrush. Successful people have a tendency to hold it in the handle end. Hardly any clasped the bristles. 

The third and most crucial bit is where to apply the toothbrush. It turns out that of the people who put it up their nostril, not a single one figured on a list of America's most well paid entrepreneurs. No, you should put it in your mouth. That's what successful people do. 

Then it is just a matter of brushing away, and wait for the first million dollars to arrive at your executive corporate bank account. 

Music in Public - Legal Status

It is clearly just an oversight from the law makers that there is no law to explicitly allow you to take action against people playing  loud music in public on radios or phones or other music devices. To make it easier for law makers, here is my proposed list of actions that should be allowed and actions that should be forbidden, when someone plays loud music in public. 

Should be allowed:

* Remove the device from its owner and switch it off. 

* Unplug the device, if connected to the electric net. 

* Confiscate the batteries of the device. 

* Confiscate the device. 

* Throw the device in a bin. 

* Throw the device in a river, lake or the sea, if available. 

* Throw the device against the ground. 

* Repeatedly smash the device against rocks, walls or other music devices. 

* Jump on the device with spiked shoes. 

* Jump on the device with clogs. 

* Hit the device repeatedly with any hard object, like a hammer, a stone or the Koh-i-Noor diamond. 

* Procure a military tank and repeatedly run over the device, until it is paper thin.

* Bury the device in a deep mine and cover it with nuclear waste. 

* Launch the device into space to orbit one of the outer planets.

* Grind the device to a thin powder and spread it over a haunted cemetery. 

Should be forbidden:

* Nothing.

Biology of Species That do Not Exist

People may consider biology a science too much down to earth to be exciting. There are admittedly plenty of exciting things in the world of the living, but the one boring thing they have in common is that they exist.

Luckily, there are some biologists who leave all reason behind them and research interesting things that most likely do not exist at all - cryptids.

Cryptozoology

Cryptozoologists study animals that are rumoured to exist, like the yeti and the Loch Ness monster and the gorilla. The gorilla is of course no longer studied by cryptozoologists as its discovery in the real world 1847 proved that it actually existed - to the cryptic community's big disappointment.

Cryptobotany

Cryptobotanists spend their time studying plants that do not exist, like Vampire Vine or Man-eating trees. They also try to find the Balkan raskovnik (Serbian: расковник), which is a magical herb that can uncover anything according to legend. What really makes the raskovnik mysterious to me is that it is supposed to be a grass that looks like a four-leaf clover, which means that it would be both monocot and dicot at the same time. It will be so annoying for Darwin, if they find one.

Future Animals

I recently learnt of a project by the palaeontologist Sébastien Steyer and the paleo-artist Marc Boulay, which is to describe animals that will evolve in the future. It is very possible that they will be right in some of the things they describe, and in less than a few million years, we may be able to tell.

"De Monocerote: figura haec talis est, qualis a pictoribus fere hodie pingitur, de qua certi nihil habeo." - "The unicorn - as it is usually painted. I have no clue myself." 

Konrad Genser: ''Historiae animalium'', 1551

Source: Wikipedia