Excuse Us...

I have heard complaints about "muslims" not standing up and clearly saying that they do not agree with the bombings of the World Trade Center or the suicide bombers in Israel. Surely, people have whispered, this means that "muslims" support this kind of acts.

I am not a muslim, so I cannot clarify that.

However, I'll do my bit as far as I can.

As a citizen of a country in the richer part of the world, I apologize to everyone in the third world for the richer countries obstinacy in the World Trade Organization talks.

As a Christian, I apologize for the crusades during the Middle Ages.

As a European, I apologize for the Opium wars against China.

I apologize for the holocaust.

I apologize for Communism and its horrible consequences for millions of people.

I apologize for the Vietnam war.

I apologize for Jack the Ripper, who was as European as I am.

I apologize for the hunt of Khoi-San people in Namibia.

I apologize for apartheid in South Africa and Rhodesia, and I apologize for the race laws of the USA.

I apologize for the Ku Klux Klan.

I apologize for inflicting two World Wars on the world.

I apologize for the nuclear disaster in Chernobyl (Чорнобиль).

I apologize for the ecological catastrophe of the disappearing Aral lake.

I apologize for Stalin's Great Purge.

I apologize for the concentration camps during the boer war.

I apologize for the internment of American citizens of Japanese and German origin during the second world war.

I apologize for the IRA, the ETA, the RAF and all their innocent victims.

I apologize for the imprisonment of Oscar Wilde.

And I apologize for Big Brother on television.


If you, dear reader, is a muslim, and if you hear other Christians or Westerners apologize for all crimes of other Christians and Westerners, I think it is your duty to stand up and say that you do not agree with the bombings of the World Trade Center or the suicide bombers in Israel.

If you don't hear of any other Christians or Westerners taking responsibility for all crimes of all Christians and Westerners, I frankly don't think you need to do it for other muslims either.