At last someone to talk to

There is an elderly (and charmingly fictitious) lady in our house. She lives on her own, but clearly has a need for company all the time. When you bump into her in the corridor, she will talk about this and that with you, until she suddenly turns around and tries to involve your neighbour in the conversation when he tries to sneak past.

Recently the block got an elevator with a synthetic voice, and the lady adores it:

I can go up and down for ever talking with the elevator. It is so polite.

"You have reached the third floor."

"Yes, that's it, isn't it? Golly, are we there already?"

"You have reached the fifth floor."

"Are you sure? I could have sworn it was the sixth floor. Yes, look at that. That's where the Duponts live. I recognise their pretty door mat. It is the fifth floor indeed."

"You have reached the second floor."

"You are having me on, aren't you? This is the fourth floor. No, there is no use arguing, I'm sure it is. I should know, shouldn't I? I have lived in this house for years. You were installed just a few weeks ago."

"You have reached the seventh floor."

"Oh, that is my favourite. Did you know it was? I like the view from the windows here. You can see the roof of the Negresco in the distance. It is so lovely. Thanks for bringing me here..."
And it never gets tired of talking with me!

Life is never boring for people who can appreciate a talking elevator. If they only taught people how to do it in school, the world would be a much happier place.